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How to position one’s hands during the Our Father

By Adam Schwend
Liturgy and Ritual

Q.  Is it appropriate to hold hands or, if no one is around, to just hold one’s hands out during the reciting or singing of the “Our Father”?

A.   The above question is a hybrid of about a thousand questions I have gotten regarding this matter.  There is no question that I get more frequently or that is a cause for such frustration on both sides, it seems. 

The first part of the question discusses what has become a very common practice, particularly in the Anglophonic world.  The origin of this practice isn’t known for sure.  Father Robert Hovda, a liturgist who supported the practice, said that the practice began in Alcoholics Anonymous and then, somehow, was adopted by the Catholic Charismatic movement.  Some have suggested that it comes from the practice in some homes of holding hands around the table as the family says grace.  There are so many stories and possibilities that the origin of the practice is simply lost.

The question is, however, is the practice acceptable?  There are no liturgical documents who state one way or the other.  Some people use this fact as a reason to say that, since the documents don’t address the issue, that it must be OK.  That argument, however, does not hold water.  The documents also do not address the issue of standing on your head and screaming during Mass.  It doesn’t mean it’s ok.  Documents rarely (although occasionally) speak about what you should NOT do during the liturgy.  Rather, they are instructive documents; they tell us what SHOULD be done.  So, should there be a congregation-wide, organized expectation to hold hands during the Lord’s prayer?  No.  There should not be, and for many reasons.  First of which is that there is an approved manner in which rituals and postures are added to the liturgy.  The Bishops’ Conference of a nation (in our circumstances, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops) votes on a proposal.  If it receives 2/3 of the bishops approval, the matter is sent to Rome for approval.  If it receives approval, then it becomes part of the Liturgy.  It no longer is something that occurs randomly, or only in certain communities, but it becomes required of all celebrations.  This has not occurred.  Another reason is that, since that approval has not come different communities do things differently.  Some places, the entire community holds hands, stretching across the aisles.  This, quite frankly, is not only distracting, but is also incredibly exclusive.  I went to a parish that did this and I asked about it.  I was told, “that’s just the way we do it here”.  I don’t come from a parish that does that and I was certainly not expecting it.  It made me incredibly uncomfortable and when I was told it was “just the way we do it”, it was clear that it was THEIR practice and THEIR parish and I could be present, if I must be, but THEIR community was far more important than any Universal Church unity.  Needless to say, I did not feel welcome.  I also remember the story of the little old lady who was visiting a parish and stood next to a middle-aged couple.  At the Lord’s Prayer, the woman didn’t reach her hand out.  So, the man reached down and grabbed it.  She then let out a huge scream.  She was suffering from crippling arthritis.   

Now, it must also be said that individual families or couples may hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer.  There is no problem with that.  Liturgical Documents deal with the postures and positions and roles of the ministers and of the congregation as a whole.  Liturgical rubrics do not address individual members of the congregation.  It does, however, address the position of priests and deacons.  The priest, after he says one of four possible introductions to the Lord’s Prayer (and no, he doesn’t get to make one up.  He must use one of the prescribed formulas), says the Lord’s Prayer with his hands extended, in the “orans” position.  The concelebrating priests, if there are any, do the same.  This posture is NOT prescribed for deacons.  What is also not prescribed is priests or deacons holding hands in the sanctuary.  Again, since ministers’ positions are prescribed, if the priest or the deacon were to assume the position of holding hands, the directives would say so.

The second part of the question is regarding the faithful assuming the “orans” position, or standing with arms extended is, again, not prescribed anywhere for the lay faithful as a whole, so they should not be encouraged to do so.  With that said, again, if an individual were to take that position, that would be that individual’s personal decision and, as long as it isn’t distracting, would be acceptable.  The orans position is one that is taken, generally, by the priest when he says presidential prayers (that is, prayers in the name of the entire community).  The Lord’s Prayer is the one time that the priest assumes the orans position in saying a communal prayer, not a presidential one.

Now, with everything above said, while I can say that, in the right situation, there is nothing inherently wrong with holding hands or assuming the orans position as a single member of the faithful in a congregation, I must also advise against it.  One person doing it can easily lead to the entire congregation doing it, which can be very distracting and exclusive (as noted above).  Although some claim that it is a sign of unity, the true sign of unity is that we are all saying the prayer together.  And if that is our reasoning, then why the Our Father?  Why not the Creed, or any of the other responses?  Are we not in unity then?  Is there a special type of unity occurring during the Lord’s Prayer that doesn’t occur during the other responses?  Certainly not.  The practice, while I believe it s completely theologically harmless, is redundant.  Our expression of unity is our saying, together in a strong and loud voice, “Our Father” and understanding what we say.  The Liturgy already contains a means for the end we wish.  Why do we need to add to it?

Some told me, “Oh Adam, you just want everything to be perfect”.  Of course I do!  Don’t you?  If we only strive for mediocrity, we probably won’t even reach that.